This is big bertha. She was a classic 70s solid pine cannonball bed. I hated her. I am not a big fan of wood furniture, and our shared bedroom sported a six-piece matching set of the stuff; inherited from Mr. Chuckles' parents.
Witness her transformation. I mixed up some homemade chalk paint using grout and gave Bertha three coats, lightly sanding between each coat. I did the same for the nightstands, but I sanded back the tops and stained them in Varathane's KONA which is a dark chocolate colour. I gave the whole thing a light distress and coated her in clear wax.
Yes, you are seeing correctly, we 'staged' her on the driveway because we decided to do something different in our bedroom and make our own pallet board headboard (more on that to come), therefore we couldn't muster the energy to take her back upstairs.
I think she turned out lovely though, and would have happily kept her.